Coronavirus is a lot like copywriting. People misspell it all the time.

Seriously though, isn’t this all a bit rubbish?

Did you honestly think that you’d be saying ‘self-isolation’ multiple times a day in a completely normal manner, without raising your eyebrows and smirking? Me neither.

I’m now a slave to the self-isolation trend and believe me I’m not fashionable in the slightest (I still yearn for the halcyon days of indigo bootcut jeans). But I am asthmatic and I generously thought I’d spare people the need to point at me in horror every time I coughed in public. I did consider (stylishly) hanging my blue inhaler around my neck and pointing at it whenever a coughing fit overtook me but I couldn’t be bothered and have plumped for a comfy sofa, a plush blankie and a garage full of diet coke and creme eggs (fridge not big enough).

Anyway, my thug cat hates that I’m at home ALL day long. I haven’t told him yet that he’s going to be quarantined too. Pray for my flesh.

 

 

I also forecast panic-buying yonks ago. Before I went on holiday on the 26th Feb I begged my better half to buy a multi-pack of loo roll (while I was off enjoying the trip of a lifetime without him) and he scoffed. Yes, scoffed! I had the last laugh.

But as a small business owner (is size 12 still considered small in this demented day and age?) my thoughts started to turn to..well..business. How do I promote Shipshape without coming across like a soulless capitalist? So, I sat down with one of my many, many wonderful notebooks and scribbled some stuff I thought could help:

  • support other self-isolating small business owners and freelancers, whether that’s recommending Norwegian Sci-Fi box sets or helping them build their business to dizzying new heights
  • sensitively suggest that, rather than panic buying creme eggs (not guilty), they could spend their downtime getting all cosy with their blankie and take a few hours to BUSINESS PLAN (that thing we’re all supposed to do but don’t)
  • basically use their time wisely for 40% of their day and spend the rest joyfully knitting/line dancing/creating papier-mache heads of obscure elected representatives.

I must have lost my mind to loneliness because right now I’m offering small businesses and freelancers from Cumbria a mahoosive 40% off social media management and blog articles until the end of April. Think of it as a helping hand with managing your public persona in these trying times.

I’m here to chat/email/video conference when it suits you. Just email me or give me a ring on 07917 881209.

Stay safe, stay clean and stay entertained.